We are not all butterflies...OR...Give us incoherence or give us death...OR...Hitler was such a fucking elevator

permalink This thing looks a lot like that thing.
The difference is that this thing is a hilarious take on the whole zeitgeist of blogs turned into coffee table books nobody ever reads, while that thing was just fucking awful, and thankfully doesn’t exist anymore.
Pros: Everything.  This is the best thing we’ve seen on tumblr this week with the exception of this.

This thing looks a lot like that thing.

The difference is that this thing is a hilarious take on the whole zeitgeist of blogs turned into coffee table books nobody ever reads, while that thing was just fucking awful, and thankfully doesn’t exist anymore.

Pros: Everything.  This is the best thing we’ve seen on tumblr this week with the exception of this.

permalink Wooo doggie, we love us some old fashioned conservativiness-cracka-lacka, but this tumblr not got self off the ground.
Hey! Someone get Joementum on tumblr!
Pros: Hipsters, man. Hipsters.

Wooo doggie, we love us some old fashioned conservativiness-cracka-lacka, but this tumblr not got self off the ground.

Hey! Someone get Joementum on tumblr!

Pros: Hipsters, man. Hipsters.

permalink We just moved, but we’re already thinking of redecorating.  What do you guys think?
Pros: We haven’t a good reason to reference the Trek since SciFi Week.

We just moved, but we’re already thinking of redecorating.  What do you guys think?

Pros: We haven’t a good reason to reference the Trek since SciFi Week.

permalink Sunovabitch. We have finals to write about the failure of globalisation and how technology is creating a horrid state of connectivity: ie. Tumblr.
So here you go: Here is some pseudo-intellectual journalism student (ha!) who goes on and on about deglobalisation.
Pros: Where the fuck is Safari on our dock? WTF. Yes. We are stressed to the max.

Sunovabitch. We have finals to write about the failure of globalisation and how technology is creating a horrid state of connectivity: ie. Tumblr.

So here you go: Here is some pseudo-intellectual journalism student (ha!) who goes on and on about deglobalisation.

Pros: Where the fuck is Safari on our dock? WTF. Yes. We are stressed to the max.

permalink Hey, it’s like Shit My Dad Says without the cursing, humor, t.v. show, or hype from using a buzzed about internet platform!
Because everybody likes being lectured by their dad so much, they’ll want a stranger’s dad to do the same, on the internet!
Pros: It does offer sage-like sock buying advice.

Hey, it’s like Shit My Dad Says without the cursing, humor, t.v. show, or hype from using a buzzed about internet platform!

Because everybody likes being lectured by their dad so much, they’ll want a stranger’s dad to do the same, on the internet!

Pros: It does offer sage-like sock buying advice.

permalink We haven’t been this bored with Legos since we found our step-dad’s stack of Playboys in the garage when we were 12.
Also, people on tumblr always be doing shit that is just fucked up.
Pros: What a convenient way to sell product, and to show what older people who should have way more interesting things to do other than play with children’s toys can do with a child’s toy.

We haven’t been this bored with Legos since we found our step-dad’s stack of Playboys in the garage when we were 12.

Also, people on tumblr always be doing shit that is just fucked up.

Pros: What a convenient way to sell product, and to show what older people who should have way more interesting things to do other than play with children’s toys can do with a child’s toy.

permalink Look, another tumblr that posts screencaps from out favorite movies!
And this one has a twist, the screencap is from the exact mid-point of the movie, where they say “it’s all downhill from here.”
But wouldn’t it be better to actually take the moment from movies where it does go south?  Here’s our suggestion for one very popular movie:

Perfect.
Pros: How perfect is the mid-point of Beetle Juice?

Look, another tumblr that posts screencaps from out favorite movies!

And this one has a twist, the screencap is from the exact mid-point of the movie, where they say “it’s all downhill from here.”

But wouldn’t it be better to actually take the moment from movies where it does go south?  Here’s our suggestion for one very popular movie:

Perfect.

Pros: How perfect is the mid-point of Beetle Juice?

permalink Isn’t that adorable? Well, not a kitten being tickled adorable, but certainly grandparents using a computer adorable.
Stodgy old Newsweek magazine is telling us hip, young possible future subscribers that they get it.  They’re not your father’s Newsweek, they ask the questions that we need an answer to!
Still, we can’t help but imagining somebody explaining what a reblog is to Howard Fineman:
Newsweek Staffer: Howard, you’re articles getting a lot of reblogs and likes on our tumblr?
Howard Fineman: What?
NS: On tumblr, people are reblogging a snippet of one of your columns.
HF: You’re speaking nonsense.  Didn’t you go to J school?
NS: Yes, I went to Columbia, top of my class.
HF: Then use your words, stop spewing gibberish and explain what you just told me like a journalist would.
NS: People on a very small corner of the internet seem to be enjoying your column.
HF: Fuck yeah they are!
NS: That’s more like it!
Pros: Actually, we really enjoy the Newsweek tumblr.  It’s nice to have something not completely inane to read on our dashboards.  Plus, it’s largely easier to read than the magazine.

Isn’t that adorable? Well, not a kitten being tickled adorable, but certainly grandparents using a computer adorable.

Stodgy old Newsweek magazine is telling us hip, young possible future subscribers that they get it.  They’re not your father’s Newsweek, they ask the questions that we need an answer to!

Still, we can’t help but imagining somebody explaining what a reblog is to Howard Fineman:

Newsweek Staffer: Howard, you’re articles getting a lot of reblogs and likes on our tumblr?

Howard Fineman: What?

NS: On tumblr, people are reblogging a snippet of one of your columns.

HF: You’re speaking nonsense.  Didn’t you go to J school?

NS: Yes, I went to Columbia, top of my class.

HF: Then use your words, stop spewing gibberish and explain what you just told me like a journalist would.

NS: People on a very small corner of the internet seem to be enjoying your column.

HF: Fuck yeah they are!

NS: That’s more like it!

Pros: Actually, we really enjoy the Newsweek tumblr.  It’s nice to have something not completely inane to read on our dashboards.  Plus, it’s largely easier to read than the magazine.

permalink Every-once-and-awhile we like to check in with our muse: Kia Matthews.
When we last left off with Kia a few months back, she had just sent a notice to the tumblr gurus that we were using her likeness on our site without her permission. After a long conversation with tumblr, we caved and removed her photo and did a half-assed caricature of her up on our masthead. She sure wasn’t a good sport about that.
So what is old Kia ranting about these days? Well, you’ll see that she thinks Woody Allen is the scum of the universe, but loves We Anderson (don’t get us wrong, we enjoy Wes Anderson too, but he is basically Woody Allen with storybook pictures so we find her hatred hilarious).
Oh, and she’s apparently whoring herself out on OkCupid!
Great. Just what Latfat Editor Two needs: Another fat sarcastic girl on OkCupid, there aren’t any of those around. Maybe if they held a Rubik’s Cube or dressed up as David Bowie from Labyrinth it wouldn’t be so bad (seriously, the way the internet is, one would think OkCupid would be nothing but girls dressed as the Goblin King holding a Rubik’s Cube instead of a crystal ball). Instead they take pictures in those slightly tilted pose where you know they’re trying to pull a fast one on you, but Latfat Editor Two isn’t going to be fooled by your shenanigans, at least not without a half keg of King Cobra in him.
Pros: We love you Kia. If for nothing else but a good laugh and a little inspiration when we are questioning our mission.

Every-once-and-awhile we like to check in with our muse: Kia Matthews.

When we last left off with Kia a few months back, she had just sent a notice to the tumblr gurus that we were using her likeness on our site without her permission. After a long conversation with tumblr, we caved and removed her photo and did a half-assed caricature of her up on our masthead. She sure wasn’t a good sport about that.

So what is old Kia ranting about these days? Well, you’ll see that she thinks Woody Allen is the scum of the universe, but loves We Anderson (don’t get us wrong, we enjoy Wes Anderson too, but he is basically Woody Allen with storybook pictures so we find her hatred hilarious).

Oh, and she’s apparently whoring herself out on OkCupid!

Great. Just what Latfat Editor Two needs: Another fat sarcastic girl on OkCupid, there aren’t any of those around. Maybe if they held a Rubik’s Cube or dressed up as David Bowie from Labyrinth it wouldn’t be so bad (seriously, the way the internet is, one would think OkCupid would be nothing but girls dressed as the Goblin King holding a Rubik’s Cube instead of a crystal ball). Instead they take pictures in those slightly tilted pose where you know they’re trying to pull a fast one on you, but Latfat Editor Two isn’t going to be fooled by your shenanigans, at least not without a half keg of King Cobra in him.

Pros: We love you Kia. If for nothing else but a good laugh and a little inspiration when we are questioning our mission.

permalink Our Alma Mater canceled their football program today, and we said good riddance.
The NFL should follow their example and cancel the New York Giants. Yeah, we said it.
Pros: Ain’t nothing Pro about having to go to New Jersey to see the New York Giants. Jersey. Ugh, the taint of the nation.

Our Alma Mater canceled their football program today, and we said good riddance.

The NFL should follow their example and cancel the New York Giants. Yeah, we said it.

Pros: Ain’t nothing Pro about having to go to New Jersey to see the New York Giants. Jersey. Ugh, the taint of the nation.